


What Brings You Here

by wordslikewater



Category: Romeo And Juliet - All Media Types, Romeo And Juliet - Shakespeare, Romeo et Juliette - Presgurvic
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Homophobic Language, M/M, Slow Build, panic attacks (later), side juliet/romeo, violence (not a lot though)
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-11-17
Updated: 2016-08-15
Packaged: 2018-05-02 01:39:54
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 8,144
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5229017
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wordslikewater/pseuds/wordslikewater
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Mercutio meets Benvolio when he stops by with his friend (Benvolio's flatmate and cousin), Romeo. Mercutio is pretty, and everyone has issues. (Modern AU)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> The name of the tattoo shop, Devils of Verona, comes from this great fic (http://archiveofourown.org/works/1004965) by azurish!!

            I was sitting on the couch reading when the door to the flat swung open and I heard the bright voice and quick step of my flatmate, Romeo, undoubtedly returning from Liesel’s Pastries, the shop where he worked. I glanced up and saw that, unsurprisingly, there was someone with him – a tall guy with black eyes and thick, dark curls that hung a few inches past his shoulders. Romeo stopped short and beamed when he saw me. “Ben! I didn’t think you’d be home.”

            I gave a small smile and closed my book, standing. “Yeah, we closed early today. Balthasar had to go to the hospital.”

            “What?” Romeo’s face went from cheerful to concerned. “Is he okay? What happened?”

            “I’m not exactly sure. Some kind of fight with Tybalt, I think. He’ll be alright in a few weeks, though, it was just a broken leg.”

            Romeo raised his eyebrows and the man behind him whistled. “Holy shit.”

            I looked up and tried for a lighter tone. “So, who’s your friend?”

            Romeo’s face lit up. “Oh, yeah! This is Mercutio, he works at Liesel’s with me.”

            Mercutio gave an exaggerated bow. “Mercutio, at your service.” He glanced up. “…And you’re Ben, right?”

            I blinked. “Um, it’s Benvolio. Nice to meet you.” Mercutio straightened and smiled widely, and Romeo, looking between us, grinned and grabbed his jacket from the coat hanger.

            “Well, Mercutio said tomorrow he’d take me to that party I mentioned, he got an invite. By the way, if you wanna come, you can, too! I mean, I know parties aren’t really your thing, but if you feel like it, you can meet us in front of Liesel’s tomorrow at eight, when we close. Either way, I’ll see you later, yeah?”

That explained why Romeo was in such a good mood; he hadn’t gotten out much lately, and he always loved a chance to mingle with other extroverts, not to mention women.

            “Sure, I might show up.” I had no intention of showing up. “I’ll see you later, yeah.”

            Mercutio flashed me a fox’s grin and winked. “Later.”

            I froze for a moment, then opened my mouth to ask what that was supposed to mean. But before I could, my voice stopped in my throat and the key turned in the lock, and I was left in silence.

I sat down heavily. I had been living with Romeo, my cousin, for nearly two years, now; we had moved out of our parents’ houses around the same time, and since neither of us could afford a flat by ourselves, we roomed together and split the rent. Balthasar – Romeo’s adoptive brother – would probably have moved in with us, too, had he not earned a scholarship for the local college. Our family – the house of Montague – was prevalent, but not rich. So Balthasar went to college on his scholarship and worked part-time at the shop with me, and Romeo worked at the bakery down the street.

            I pulled myself up and went to the kitchen to get something vaguely edible to eat. When the teakettle started whistling, I couldn’t help but think again of how Balthasar had screamed into the floorboards. I felt emptiness claw again at the inside of my chest, and I choked on air. _When Balthasar was cut, his blood came pouring out. I wonder what would happen if the same thing happened to me. I wonder if I could stain the floor red. I wonder, if my chest split open, would I die the color of dust, bloodless and hollow? Could I be as empty as I feel?_

I shook myself and went to open the curtains. _God, I need some sunlight. I’m starting to sound like Romeo after a breakup._

 

            I sat behind the counter of Devils of Verona, the tattoo parlour I worked at. Balthasar, Abram and I were the employees, so I was alone right now; Balthasar was still in the hospital and Abram was taking his lunch break. I was drawing swirling designs in my sketchbook when I heard the door open. I looked up quickly with a default bright expression on my face, but my smile faded quickly when I saw who it was.

            “O-oh, hello, Tybalt.” I averted my eyes, putting down my sketchbook. “What brings you here?”

            He looked around, ignoring my question. His face was set in a glare. “The other slut isn’t here today?”

            I flinched. “I thought you saw enough of Balthasar yesterday.”

            Tybalt smiled, though it didn’t touch the fury in his eyes. “I didn’t see much of you, yesterday, did I?”

            _Useless._ My breath caught in my chest.“Tybalt, what do you want?”

            He met my eyes readily. “This place is pathetic. I’d have thought you had enough to be ashamed of, but this? Fucking disgusting.”

            I was silent, but kept my expression steady. Tybalt went on.

            “The dumb slut you work with, your ditz of a cousin, and you. You, their worthless, tagalong faggot.”

            I felt the color rising in my face. I breathed for a moment. “Are you just here looking for a fight, Tybalt? Because if you are, then you can go ahead and leave.”

            Tybalt looked at me for a moment, then smiled with the kind of pity you would have for a worm dying on the sidewalk. Then he said, sidelong, “No fun, as usual,” and walked out. The door clanged shut behind him and I stared at the emptiness in the air he left behind, telling myself that words shouldn’t hurt. But at the same time, there was a voice in my head telling me he was right.

            … _Maybe I’ll go to that party after all._

 

           

 

            I shuffled from one foot to the other and stared indecisively at the door into Liesel’s, my hands buried in the pockets of my long coat. _This is ten minutes earlier than they said. I shouldn’t be here. I shouldn’t be here. I should just go in and buy something and go home. This was a stupid idea, Benvolio._

            I shivered. The evenings at this time of year were cold, especially against the heat of the afternoons. I stood considering for another moment, then shook myself and walked into the shop.

            I was surprised to see Mercutio behind the counter, although Romeo had said that they worked here together. I didn’t see Romeo; he must have been in the back. Upon seeing me, Mercutio’s dark eyes brightened.

            “Benny!”

“Eh, it’s Benvolio-“

“Romeo didn’t think you’d show up, but of course you couldn’t resist my-“ He fluttered his eyelashes at me. “-irresistible wiles.”

It took me a few moments of him batting his eyelashes continuously for me to realize he was joking, upon which I gave a small laugh. “Actually, I-“

A slightly muffled voice emanated from the back room. “Mercutio, are you harassing my cousin?”

Mercutio threw back his head and laughed. It was a full laugh, a wild laugh, a laugh that suited him – yet for a split second, I thought I heard something more than mirth in that sound. Just for a moment. Then it was gone and Romeo popped into the room.

“Benvolio! I didn’t think you’d come!”

I laughed lightly. “Yeah, me neither. But, I don’t know, I just… thought it might be fun.”

Romeo was beaming. I was fairly certain he’d thought I would never come to one of his parties. It occurred to me that I might have just passed up my last chance at backing out of this without feeling guilty. I glanced over at Mercutio, who was gathering up his coat and what appeared to be the keys to the shop. He flipped the keys from his left hand to his right and strode to the door.

“You coming?” He tossed the words over his shoulder. I managed a smile as I followed the two of them out the door. Yeah, this was definitely a bad idea.

 

When the three of us walked through the doors to the party, the room didn’t pause for breath. Romeo immediately called to some friends of his that I didn’t know, and Mercutio followed along with a grin. I shuffled off to the side with an unopened can of beer, just to be holding something. Obnoxious music blared throughout the room, and everyone seemed to sort of know each other; this was a college party, Mercutio had said, for the college that he and Balthasar both attended. I glanced around the room for a familiar face, but Romeo and Mercutio were already lost in the crowd. They were the only friends I had around here, I realized. The suffocating noise of the room emphasized, suddenly, how alone I actually was. I shivered, then skirted the edge of the room, searching for one of my friends (should have stuck with them to begin with). After a few long minutes of walking around uncomfortably, I saw Mercutio. He seemed to be telling a story, using dramatic hand gestures and looking with a strange intensity at each member of his enraptured audience of eight or nine people. I didn’t want to interrupt, so I hung back a little, observing from a short distance away. I watched Mercutio’s lips move as he spoke, the enthusiasm with which he spun his tale. Though I couldn’t hear his words, I found myself drawn in by his presence. For the first time since we had arrived here, I found myself relaxing a little.

“Hey, look who’s here!” I froze, then turned slowly to face Tybalt’s smirk. “So, they let a fuckin’… a fuckin’ cockbite in here, huh?”

“Well, _you_ got in.” It was a weak comeback, and I said it more quietly than I would have liked, but it was better than nothing. Maybe. “Please just leave me alone.”

I started to walk away, but Tybalt’s hand was suddenly gripping my arm. I turned back. “Tybalt, let go.”

“Not a chance.” He laughed, but it was obviously forced. “You don’t belong here. You couldn’t even get into this school, just riding your cousin’s coattails to get places you’re not good enough for. Get out of here. Tell the ditz that brought you here the same goes for him.”

I struggled to stand my ground, although it crossed my mind that it might not even be worth the trouble. “You can’t force us to leave.”

Suddenly his smile was alarmingly close, and I could smell alcohol in his breath. “You wanna fucking bet?“

He began to grip my shoulder even harder. It would leave a bruise. I opened my mouth to say something, but my voice died in my throat.

“I can make you go wherever the fuck I want, you whiny, sniveling bitch. You can’t do a goddamn thing, fucking useless tagalong. You don’t do shit for anyone-“

I found myself starting to shake.

_“You know what happens to people like you?”_

I finally wrenched away from him, pressing hastily – almost feverishly –through the crowd and towards the exit. _People like me. Useless._

Suddenly there was another hand on my shoulder and I jerked away, spinning hastily to see Mercutio, blinking at me confusedly.

“Benvolio? Hey, what’s wrong?”

I found my voice. “Oh- uh, nothing, I mean, I’m just gonna go now, this isn’t really my scene-“

He squinted at me. “Dude, no. Seriously, what happened?”

“Well, I mean- I just ran into Tybalt and he wouldn’t leave me alone and it’s just sort of uncomfortable with him here and-“

Mercutio’s eyes darkened. “What? Tybalt’s here? Fuck, that asshole – where is he now, I’ll kick his ass-“

“Wh-what? No, no, it’s fine, he didn’t do anything-“ _People like you._ I swallowed. “Seriously, it doesn’t matter-“

“Doesn’t matter, my _ass,_ he can’t just harass you and get to fucking walk away-“

“He wasn’t- no, Mercutio, just leave it-“

“I’m not going to-“

“No, I- I don’t care, shit, I’m just… I’m leaving, okay?” Without waiting for an answer, I turned and half-ran out into the night air. My heart was still pumping too quickly, beating too loudly in my ears, but now that I was outside I could breathe again. I stood for a moment in silence, leaning against the concrete wall a few meters to the side of the door. But only for a moment. Then the door opened again and Mercutio walked over to me.

He leaned against the wall beside me silently. We stood there together for a moment before he spoke.

“Hey,” he said.

“Hey.” I smiled a little. “Party’s inside, you know.”

He shrugged nonchalantly. “The cool people are out here, though.”

I snorted. “Romeo’s still in there, you know.”

“Yup.”

I raised an eyebrow.

“What? Come on, I love the guy, but, dude, he’s been embarrassing himself all night.”

“What do you mean?”

“He’s spent the whole time chatting up girls.”

“Really? More than one?”

“Actually, I think it’s just one. I think? Shit. I don’t know, man, he’s just…” Mercutio sighed dramatically. “So _straight,_ you know?”

I blinked – _Mercutio’s not straight? –_ then laughed, a little surprised but not disappointed. “I- I can’t really argue with that.”

Mercutio was smiling now. “For real, though, are you okay? You looked pretty upset.”

I felt my face heat up. “Oh, uh. No, sorry, I’m fine.” I coughed lightly. “Thanks.”

He creased his eyebrows. “For what?”

“Um, for bothering about me, I guess.”

He made a dismissive hand gesture. “Pff. Don’t thank me for that, man.”

We stood in companionable silence for a few minutes. Then Mercutio sighed and looked back towards the door. “I’m supposed to drive you two back, right?”

“I’m not sure what Romeo had in mind. We can just get a cab, if you don’t want to-“

“Nah, it’s on the way home for me anyway.” Suddenly he furrowed his brow. “Shit. That means we need to go find him.”

“…Is that bad?”

He let out a frustrated noise. “I don’t wanna go back inside,” he whined. I bit back a laugh.

“Well, we can’t just leave without him. He might think we abandoned him to move to a shack in Greenland.”

Mercutio snorted with laughter. “Oddly specific.”

“You should see some of the texts I’ve gotten from drunk Romeo.”

We walked back inside together, scanning around for my cousin, before we were told he had left from the back door a few minutes earlier.

We didn’t speak until we got back outside, where Mercutio turned to me with a mischievous glint in his eye. “Maybe he’s having more fun without us, eh?” He wiggled his eyebrows at me.

I laughed quietly. “Right, definitely. Maybe he’s reciting love poetry as we speak.”

Mercutio got down on one knee and lifted his hands towards the moon, raising his voice in a teasing imitation of Romeo. “The stars’ brightness is shamed by the luster of thy cheeks, fair maid! Would that thou should desire me as I desire thee!”

I pitched my voice up. “But Romeo, what sayest thou? My love for thee is bountiful indeed!”

“Then I may lie beside you and worship your bright eye, your scarlet lip, your quivering thigh-“

“Oh my god, stop.” Laughter broke through my words.

“Maiden, thy lips art so inviting-“ Mercutio puckered his lips and started towards me, arms out like a zombie.

“Oh my _god-“_

We ended up running in circles, cackling like geese, Mercutio stopping every once in a while to cry, “Maiden! Maiden!” before cracking up again.

Eventually we found our way to the car and stopped, laughing and catching our breath.

“Hey, guys!” Mercutio redoubled his laughter when I jumped straight in the air, turning to see Romeo coming towards us. Mercutio raised his hand in a sort of wave.

“Hey, where were you?”

Romeo flushed. “I had to, uh, do some stuff.”

There was a brief pause. Then: “You got booty, didn’t you. _Dude._ What’s her name? How was it? Oh, man, I fucking called it-“

Romeo’s face was beet red now. “N-no! Nothing happened!”

Mercutio deadpanned. “Right. Of course. You just had some… _stuff_ to do. Definitely.”

“Exactly.”

I blinked between the two of them, then gestured vaguely at the car. “Um, should we go now? Mercutio, did you drink anything? Because if you did, then I can drive-“

“Nah, man, I’m good.” Mercutio slid into the driver’s seat. “Romeo gets the back.”

“Aww, why?” Romeo whined.

“Because you got the booty.”

“I _didn’t,_ though.”

“Mm-hmm. Ben, get in the front.”

I laughed and patted Romeo consolingly on the shoulder before getting in the front seat. Once we pulled out, I turned to look at my cousin. “You did meet a girl, though, right?”

His eyes lit up. “Yeah! She’s so amazing, she’s like… like she’s really beautiful, but also super smart, and…” He sighed wistfully. “I don’t even know how to describe her. She’s so incredible.”

Mercutio smirked. “Yeah, my first time was like that, too.”

Romeo was going red again. “No, we didn’t- we didn’t do anything! We just… I mean, we kissed, but that was it!”

“Uh-huh.” He clearly wasn’t buying it.

During the car ride, I managed to glean that the girl’s name was Juliet, but not much else – partly because Mercutio kept interrupting with suggestive statements, partly because Romeo just wasn’t very coherent regarding his thoughts on her.

When I finally fell asleep that night, it was to the echoes of Mercutio’s laugh lingering in my mind.

 

 

It was Wednesday; Abram and Balthasar were both working on customers as I sat at the front of the store, surrounded by all the sample designs, waiting idly for someone to come in. I started in surprise when I suddenly felt my phone buzzing. I looked down to see that Romeo had texted me.

 

**From: Bromeo**

**gee golly women sure are amaizng**

**i love them??? im so str8 helel yes i m romeo**

**it ehANATHOSNETODNTEDSHTLAIETN**

            I squinted down at the text.

 

**To: Bromeo**

**what???**

 

**From: Bromeo**

**YYFHSOUR HINDQUARTERS AREHJAFF THE BOMB DIGGITY**

**sTOpe NOT**

**DOANTENSILIENT THATESIIS NO TME**

**To: Bromeo**

**uh, are you okay**

**From: Bromeo**

**yes i am romeo dont worry**

**img tnotoally normanlt**

**i am romeo esyshajGHJ**

**hesnotGfhsdjFIWB TSME**

**OH MY GOD BEN IM SO SORY MERC TOOK MY PHONE**

 

**To: Bromeo**

**haha oh my god**

**you good? also aren’t you at work**

**From: Bromeo**

**ye a theres n o b o od y he r e**

**buying thigns i mean**

**lik merc nd i are here bu t**

**To: Bromeo**

**yeah I figured**

**can’t really talk now though?? bc i actually do have work**

**From: Bromeo**

**OK SORY DUDE**

**L8R**

 

            I slipped my phone back in my pocket, turning it off this time, and rested my chin on my palm, left with a strange sense of happiness at the thought that Mercutio had thought to text me, of all people, when he was bored.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have some more of this written, but I'm a bit of a slow writer what with high school going on, so I'll try to post another chapter around Christmas and hopefully by then I'll have a good head start on the next chapter after that. I don't know how many chapters the whole thing will be, but I feel like it might get pretty long...  
> In the meantime, feel free to message me (about writing or about anything else) at my tumblr, a-splash-of-realitea.tumblr.com !! Also you should comment because I subsist almost entirely on feedback


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you like really uninspired, uninformative chapter titles because I've got a surplus w h o o p s  
> I said I'd upload this around christmas.... it's not THAT late, is it? right? riiight????? (i m soryr)

            _“Leave me the fuck alone.”_ There was blood on the floor, on my hands, in my mouth. I couldn’t move. I couldn’t breathe. I needed to call someone. I needed to say something. _“Don’t fucking look at me!”_ I _needed_ to say something. Something. Anything.

I opened my mouth and screamed, screamed as hard as I could until my throat was raw and my head was light and a quiet hiss of air finally escaped my lips but no more and it was too late, I thought, but it didn’t quell the panic. _“This was your fault, you know, all of you, all of you, fuck you, fuck your families, fuck everyone you think you give a shit about-“_ A cough. Crimson, geraniums, poppies, not a rose, not a rose, red, red, red, red, _“Look away, get away,”_ pulling apart sinew and sirens and meat and myself-

The sirens melted into the sound of a phone ringing, and I clutched at the air, suddenly aware that I had been asleep. I slowly sat up, gripping my knees and waiting for my breath to settle and the panic to fade, at least enough for me to speak. After the fourth ring, I had to pick up.

“Hello?”

“Yo, were you still asleep?” Romeo’s voice filtered through the cell phone.

I ran a hand through my matted hair and tried not to hear my still-too-loud heartbeat, half-wishing the call had been from someone I could’ve just hung up on. “Oh, hey, Romeo. Did you want something?”

“Yeah, I called to see if you wanted to hang out at the park with me and Mercutio. Didn’t mean to wake you up, though. Seriously, it’s like, noon, I thought you’d be up.”

I rubbed my eyes. “I am now.” I glanced at the clock and saw that Romeo was right; it was, in fact, exactly noon. “Sure, I’ll hang out. You at the park now?”

Romeo snorted and air crackled through the phone. “Dude, I’m at work.”

I groaned and hung my head. “I… fucking knew that. When do you wanna meet?”

“We’re closing at two, you can meet us here at the shop if you want. You’ve got the day off, right?”

“If I didn’t, I’d be in some real trouble now.”

“Right, right. See you later, then.”

“Yeah, later.” There was a click and I dropped the phone, standing up slowly. My heart was still beating painfully in my chest, and I shook myself. _Wake up, Ben. It wasn’t real._ I looked down at my nails biting into my thighs. _Only a stupid dream._

 

“Benny! You showed up!” Mercutio grinned at me. I raised an eyebrow, failing to suppress a smile of my own. _Benny?_

“Why do you always sound so surprised? It’s not like I’ve ever stood you up.”

“Ah, that’s what they all say. Before they stand you up.”

“No, it’s… it’s really not.”

“Ah, what do you know? Come on, we’re going to the park.”

“I know, man, that’s what you invited me for. Where’s Romeo?” I looked around the store for any sign of my cousin.

Mercutio nodded at the door to the back area of the store, where the baking was done. “He’s cleaning up.” There was a hint of a smirk on his face.

I squinted at him. “And you’re not helping?”

He looked even more proud of himself. “Nope. Lover boy back there lost a bet.”

I nodded sagely. “Ah, that sounds like Romeo. What was the bet?”

Mercutio started snickering. “Remember Rosaline?”

“Christ, how could I forget? He was pining after her for _ages_. What about her? He’s got a new crush now, right? He hasn’t talked about Rosaline in months.”

“Yeah, yeah, he’s over her, but guess what?” He looked expectantly at me, and I gave him a cold look.

“Dude, just tell me.”

“Ugh, fine, killjoy. Turns out she’s engaged…” He paused dramatically. “…to the book stand lady.” He then whipped on a pair of sunglasses, seemingly from out of nowhere. I snorted with laughter.

“Hey, that’s awesome. Good for her. And for the book stand lady.” The ‘book stand lady’ was the woman who had a… book stand. It was like a hot dog stand, but she sold books. No one’s sure where she gets them. I cocked my head to the side. “Did… did Romeo still think she was straight, though? I mean, I thought he gave up on her because he saw her flirting with that lady in the coffee shop…”

A screech suddenly emerged from the back room. “YOU _KNEW?”_

Mercutio was doubled over with laughter, and Romeo burst into the room. “No, stop laughing at me! Shit, Mercutio, cut it out, you already won the stupid bet-“ Mercutio just waved him away vaguely, his eyes tearing up, and I couldn’t help but join in.

“Ben, not you, too- damn it, you’re supposed to be on my side, you ass-“

I moved to the door, still laughing. “Come on, let’s just go.” My eyes lingered on Mercutio a moment longer as he straightened up and wiped his eyes. I wanted to know more about the feral quality to his smile, the sound in the heaviest part of his laugh that sounded like it was about to break open and reveal something incredible. He raised his head and I quickly looked away, walking forward as if the moment had never happened.

 

“So, hey, I actually invited Juliet, too. That’s okay, right?” Romeo pulled the key out of the transmission and the three of us stepped out of the car.

I raised an eyebrow. “Dude, why do you bother asking if it’s okay after you’ve already set it all up?”

He paused. “Uh… I don’t… know?”

I snorted, and Mercutio clapped Romeo on the shoulder, declaring, “Well, I, for one, am glad we finally get to meet the lucky lady. Aren’t you, Ben?”

Romeo shot (what was clearly supposed to be) a menacing look at Mercutio. “Don’t be creepy, all right?”

Mercutio put his hand on his chest with a fake astonished gasp. “Just because I’m better with women than you-“

“Hey!”

“Okay, okay- just because I’m more attractive than you-“

“ _Dude-“_

“More charming? More… suave? Oh, I see, it’s that I’m just better than you in general-“

“Aw, that’s just mean,” Romeo whined, and Mercutio laughed. Suddenly Romeo brightened and started waving furiously at someone a ways away across the grass. “Oh! That’s Juliet! I’m going on ahead!” He just about sprinted over to the figure, and Mercutio and I were left to catch up with him. Neither of us wanted to speed up, so we made our way slowly over by ourselves. Suddenly Mercutio spoke, a worried look on his face.

“Hey, I’m not actually creepy, am I?”

I bit back a laugh. “No, Mercutio, you’re not creepy.”

He nodded, but his eyebrows were still drawn together concernedly. I smiled at him.

“Seriously, you’re not creepy. Romeo’s just screwing with you.”

Mercutio broke into a grin. “Ha, he wishes!”

“That doesn’t really work as a pun-“

“Shush, come on. Let’s meet this Juliet, yeah?” The sun caught his face as he cocked his head at me, still grinning, and his eyes looked suddenly bright, almost fey, and for an instant I was captured by the illusion that he had just emerged, shining, from the sun itself.

When we came up on Juliet and Romeo, they were already deep in conversation, but they looked up in unison as we drew near. Romeo was practically glowing as he introduced her: “Guys, this is Juliet. Juliet, this is Benvolio,” he gestured to me, “and that’s Mercutio,” he pointed vaguely at Mercutio, who drew his shoulders back and smiled in the same striking, charming way in which he had smiled at me when I first met him.

“Mercutio Escalus, at your service.” He left out the bow this time, to my slight disappointment.

I drew a steady smile to my face. “Nice to meet you,” I said.

Juliet matched Romeo’s expression, her hand entwined in his. “Juliet Capulet. It’s good to finally meet you.”

I saw Mercutio’s expression falter. “Juliet… Capulet? You can’t be Tybalt’s cousin, right?”

Juliet tilted her head like a sparrow. “I am, actually. You know Tybalt?”

Romeo cut in brightly, “Yeah, Tybalt goes to school with my brother Balthasar! I’ve mentioned him, right? Yeah.” He paused. “Ah, he and Tybalt don’t… I mean, they’re not close, but I’ve seen him around, you know? Benvolio knows him a little. I didn’t know you were his cousin! It’s kind of funny that my cousin knew your cousin before I met you.” He glowed at her, and she glowed back. They were utterly taken with each other, and suddenly I felt a sharp pang in my chest, like something bad was going to happen, like there was something that I ought to have been dreading.

Mercutio snickered. “Get a room, nerds!” His dark eyes lit up in the sunlight and everyone was so happy and beautiful and suddenly, deeply, I felt that I didn’t belong. _You’re poison,_ Tybalt’s voice whispered in my head. _The world would be better off without people like you._ My smile was starting to hurt and I looked through my friends who were talking again.

I was just taking a breath to say I had to leave when I heard my name. “So how do you know Tybalt, Benvolio?” Juliet was smiling, casual, as she asked the question, and I froze for a moment.

“I, ah…” _I met him in high school. We talked about life and pain and blood and God and all the things we didn’t want to exist._ “I know him through Balthasar, I guess. And he comes into the shop sometimes.”

“The shop? You don’t work at the pastry shop with Romeo and Merc, though, right?”

Her tone was light and friendly and I felt myself relax a little. “No, Balthasar and I work at Devil’s of Verona with Abram. It’s a tattoo parlor, you may have seen it before. It’s a few blocks up from Liesel’s.”

Juliet nodded in recognition. “Yeah, I think I’ve seen it. Wow, Tybalt has tattoos? That’s… kind of surprising. He used to be really scared of needles, actually, but I guess that’s…” She trailed off.

I blinked. “No, actually, he’s never come in to actually get a tattoo before. He just stops by sometimes, usually to talk to Balthasar.” I was only half-lying. He really had never gotten a tattoo at the shop. But when he came, it wasn’t ever ‘to talk.’ He generally only came looking for a fight.

Mercutio gave me a searching look, probably wondering how ‘he comes by to talk to Balthasar’ translated to ‘he came by and broke Balthasar’s leg in a fight,’ but he didn’t say anything.

I cleared my throat. “Hey, I actually have to go. I’ll see you guys later?”

Romeo waved lightly. “Yeah, okay. You can take the car back, I’ll get a cab or something.” Or something. I wondered briefly what that would entail, then decided I probably didn’t want to know. “See you.”

“Later,” Juliet echoed.

“What? Benny,” Mercutio whined, “Don’t leave me alone with these two nerds!” Romeo made an indignant noise and Juliet laughed quietly.

I smiled. “See you, Mercutio.”

 

            When I reached the flat, I wasted no time in collapsing face first onto the couch. I sighed into the pillow and felt the warmth of my breath press into fabric under my cheek. I turned my head to the side and considered my friends: Balthasar clutching his leg where the flesh had parted, screaming; Romeo telling me through the bathroom door at the Montague house that he was scared we would never leave; Tybalt lying on the sloping roof of our high school, pointing out the glow of long-dead stars whose light had yet to fade out of sight, the look of despair on his face when I let him down; Mercutio and his beautiful laugh, his voice that sounded full to capacity of emotion with every word. Balthasar holding the pieces of his leg together as I watched. Romeo pretending he didn’t hear what people said about him.

I reached out and tapped the coffee table idly. Should I draw something? At least that would be somewhat productive. I reached for my sketchbook, which was on the other side of the table and past several haphazard pile of books and papers, and eventually realized that I wouldn’t be able to get the damn thing without standing up.

_On the other hand, maybe I’ll just go to sleep._

            The decision of whether or not to get up was made for me when my phone buzzed and I was startled into jumping up, heart pounding. I gave a short huff of annoyance and grabbed my sketchbook before settling myself once again on the couch and looking down at my phone.

 

**From: Balthasaur**

**Hey Benvolio, you at the flat?**

**To: Balthasaur**

**yeah, what’s up? u feeling better?**

**From: Balthasaur**

**Yeah, thx**

**is Romeo with you?**

**To: Balthasaur**

**nah he’s with his new gf**

**why do u ask**

**From: Balthasaur**

**I got some weird texts from him?? idk I thought maybe you were messing with his phone or s/t**

**To: Balthasaur**

**no? what did he say**

**From: Balthasaur**

**Ehh it doesn’t matter**

**I guess he’s just messing with me**

**To: Balthasaur**

**oh it could be mercutio**

**u know him, right?**

**From: Balthasaur**

**ohhhh okay that makes sense yeah**

**To: Balthasaur**

**what do u mean**

**From: Balthasaur**

**Nothing ur fine**

**Later, coz**

**To: Balthasaur**

**yo what**

**hang on what did u mean**

**what did he say im curious now**

**was it something about me is that why u won’t tell me**

**why aren’t u responding**

**come on I know ur there wtf**

**Balthasar???**

**dude**

**hey**

**heyyyyYYyY**

 

            I gave my phone a scathing look and set it aside, opening my sketchbook to a blank page. But the sound of my own pencil grated on my ears, so I dropped a pillow over my face and closed my eyes and mentally debated whether or not to go to sleep until it overtook me, heedless.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I... the ending of this chapter is a little abrupt... but.. I have no excuse, actually. I just wanted to keep writing and I felt bad for not updating when I said I would and I'm just a mess in general but I might edit the ending of the chapter later this week? sorrY IM SUCH A MESS RIGHT NWO  
> as always, comments are super super appreciated for positive and negative input alike! I hope you're enjoying the story!
> 
> side note - I'm planning on updating again in mid-April! key word: planning. Probably not before then. School is incredibly busy ahhh  
> but feel free to send me frustrated (or just friendly! or anything, really!) messages at my tumblr, a-splash-of-realitea.tumblr.com


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The sign language Balthasar uses is BSL (British Sign Language), in case anyone is curious about that omo;;

            There aren’t many stars visible from the city. The sky opens up in blackness above you and you see all those brilliant points of light and think that they fill the sky, but they really don’t. The first time I saw the night sky outside the city, it felt like I was looking into another world.

            When we were in elementary school, Romeo’s parents took Romeo, Balthasar, and me on a trip to the countryside. It wasn’t particularly extravagant, just a couple of nights in tents away from home; but it felt like an adventure. The three of us children all shared a tent, and we were determined to stay up past midnight both nights. I can’t remember if we succeeded in that or not, but the view of the stars was breathtaking.

            And then there were the evenings spent lying on the roof of the high school building playing shitty songs on my shitty iPod while Tybalt smoked and stared at the sky.

            “Beautiful stars,” he would say around his cigarette.

            “Yeah,” I would agree.

            “Too beautiful for fucking losers like us.”

            “Yeah.”

            “I’m gonna be an astronaut, Benvolio.”

            “Yeah, I know.”

            “I’ll get a fuckin’ suit and everything. Go to school, do all the shit you’re supposed to do to be the right kind of person, then I’m fucking gone. Ha, the whole world could start screaming and I wouldn’t hear a goddamn thing.”

            “Yeah?”

            “It’ll be _fantastic,_ Ben. Like jumping off a cliff without knowing if you’ll ever hit the bottom.”

            “Oh. That, ah, sounds kind of awful, actually.”

            And he’d sigh, carcinogens rushing from his nose in a cloud of smoke. “Beautiful stars,” he’d mumble again. Then we’d lapse into a gentle semi-silence, broken only by the crickets and the tinny music emitted by my iPod.

            I was startled out of my reverie by Balthasar tapping my shoulder.

            _“What are you reading?”_ he signed.

            I glanced down at the book in my hands. “Oh.” Honestly, I had forgotten about it. “It’s, uh, _‘Les Misérables,’_ ” I signed back.

            Balthasar wrinkled his nose. _“Oh my god, why? That book is so sad.”_

            I shrugged. “Yeah. It’s a great book, though.”

            He continued to look at me skeptically for a beat, then he shook his head. _“Well, anyway, it’s about time to close up. You can go ahead if you’ve got something planned, we’re not getting any more customers.”_

            I glanced at the clock. “Yeah, okay. I’m not gonna leave you to clean up on your own, though, what the hell?”

            Balthasar made a noncommittal gesture. _“I don’t know, you’ve just… been busy lately?”_ He picked up a broom.

            I gave him a look and he smiled sheepishly. _“Sorry,”_ he signed, continuing to sweep with his left hand.

            I picked up and put away all the tools we’d left lying around and then helped Balthasar finish cleaning up. As I locked the door to the shop behind us, Balthasar signed, _“I was thinking I’d drop by Liesel’s on the way back since I don’t have much schoolwork right now. You in?”_

            “Yeah, definitely, I was thinking of doing that anyway. Romeo will be really happy to see you.”

            Balthasar snorted. _“Romeo’s really happy to see just about everyone.”_

            “Ah, that’s not true! He’s not happy to see…” I paused, genuinely conflicted for a moment. _Was_ there anyone Romeo wasn’t happy to see? “Um, Tybalt, maybe?”

            Balthasar thought for a moment, then nodded. _“Yeah, I guess not. Still.”_ He let out a bark of laughter, then quieted, hands dropping to his sides. _“Sorry.”_ He signed it quickly, almost as if he didn’t want me to see. I frowned, and we finished cleaning in silence.

 

            When we arrived at Liesel’s Pastries, Romeo and Mercutio were just closing up. “Yo,” I called in greeting, and Balthasar gave a small wave as Romeo and Mercutio looked up.

            “Hey! Balthasar!” Romeo ducked under the counter and gave Balthasar a hug. He pulled back. _“How have you been?”_ he signed. Balthasar smiled and made a noncommittal gesture. The two began to converse rapidly, and I looked back to where Mercutio was standing, studying Romeo and Balthasar without understanding what they were talking about.

            “Hey, Mercutio.” I smiled, and he shifted his bright gaze onto me. He beamed suddenly.

            “Hiya, Benvolio. How’s it going?”

            I paused. There was something different in his tone, something sharp and warm and a little bit quieter than usual. And he was calling me Benvolio, not ‘Ben’ or ‘Benny’ or one of his other nicknames. I shook myself. I was probably just thinking too hard about it. “Oh, you know. Nothing new.” I waited a moment before asking, “So, how are you?”

            “Nothing new,” he echoed. He glanced at the ceiling, then frowned, then looked back to me. “People thought that the earth was flat, but now it’s round. And now people think it’s weird as hell that people thought the earth was flat. But it’s not. It was a solid fact and we were wrong the whole time. A solid fact, like how time goes on in seconds and minutes and hours unless we’re asleep.” He seemed to look through me as he said this. Then his bright eyes focused on me and he fixed me with an expression I didn’t know how to interpret.

            I opened my mouth, then closed it again, trying to think of a response to this. I hadn’t quite decided if I should be worried or not. Before I could respond, though, Mercutio brightened again. “I’ve gotta go. See you, Romeo, Balthasar!” He gave a wave of farewell to Romeo and Balthasar before making for the exit. “Later, Benny,” he added a little more quietly as he passed me. I stood there confusedly for a moment before blinking and turning to Romeo and Balthasar, who were still signing with each other.

            “Hey, Romeo?”

            Romeo’s hands stilled and he turned to me questioningly.

            “Has he been like that all day?”

            Romeo looked at Balthasar, then back at me. “What do you mean? You’ve been with him, like, all afternoon, what-“

            “No, I- I mean Mercutio. Has Mercutio been- yeah.”

            Romeo pursed his lips. “I- yeah, I guess? Maybe? What do you mean?”

            “I mean, he seems upset, doesn’t he?”

            “Oh.” Romeo looked somewhat mystified. “Do you think so? I didn’t really notice.” He furrowed his eyebrows at me. “Damn. Should I text him? Do you think I did something wrong?”

            I almost laughed at the intensity and suddenness of the concern on his face. “No, no, I doubt it’s about you. I don’t know, I think you’d probably _know_ if you’d done something wrong, yeah?”

            Romeo didn’t seem comforted by this. “I don’t know, Ben, I didn’t notice he was upset before. Maybe I said something stupid without meaning to.”

            I patted his shoulder lightly. “Don’t worry about it, Romeo, I’m sure you didn’t do anything wrong. I’m gonna go talk to Mercutio, okay?” I breathed out quietly. “Maybe I’m just overreacting, anyway. You two have fun.” I half-smiled at Balthasar and Romeo as I pushed out of the bakery. I paused when I reached the sidewalk as it occurred to me that I had absolutely no idea where Mercutio was. I looked around briefly to see if he was still walking or his car was parked nearby and began speed walking when I saw that by some miracle, he hadn’t left yet.

            “Mercutio!” I waved my hand and Mercutio looked up at me from the driver’s seat, eyebrows raised, and put the pair of sunglasses he had been about to take out back in the glove compartment. He rolled down the window as I reached him.

            “Benvolio? What’s up, you need something?”

            “Uh- I just-” It dawned on me that I hadn’t really thought this through. That is, I had no idea what I wanted to say to him. “Uh, do you, uh, wanna hang out?” I finished lamely. _Stupid. Why didn’t you just ask him what was wrong, or if he wanted to talk, or if he was okay? Or pretty much anything else? God, you sound weird. Idiot._

            Mercutio looked at me in surprise for a moment, then something of the brightness in his eyes receded as he averted his eyes and let out a laugh, albeit a slightly forced one.

            “Look, Benny-…” He paused, lips pressed together, then shook his head a little and looked at me again, smiling half-apologetically. “I don’t think you really want to hang out with me right now.” His voice was sincere and held a note of affection that would have given me pause if I’d been less worried. I frowned.

            “Why wouldn’t I? I mean, I wouldn’t _ask_ if I didn’t.” He didn’t say anything, just looked at the ground, his face cast down such that I couldn’t see his expression. I backpedaled hastily. “I-I mean, if _you_ don’t want to hang out, that’s fine, of course, I didn’t mean to- uh-”

            To my surprise, Mercutio laughed, this time more in earnest. “It’s okay, Ben, I know what you meant.” He exhaled softly, running a hand through his thick, dark hair. “Okay,” he said breathily. He quirked a smile suddenly, tilting his head at me. “All right, let’s hang out. Where to?”

            Yet another thing I hadn’t thought of ahead of time. “Uh…”

            “Wanna come to my place? It’s nearby, and you’ve never been there.”

            “Oh, yeah. Sure. I didn’t know you lived close by.”

            “Yeah, about ten minute’s drive. Opposite direction from you guys, though.” He made a face, then shook himself. “Hop in.” He nodded at the passenger’s seat of the car. “You walked here, right?”

            “Ah, yeah.” I only hesitated for a second before climbing into the seat next to Mercutio. His face got more serious as he started up the car, some of the social pretense dropping away to show something tired overlapping with something fierce and bright in his gaze. I didn’t realize I was staring until Mercutio glanced over at me with a lopsided grin.

            “What, see something you like?”

            I snorted and pretended I didn’t feel the heat creeping up to my cheeks. “As if you need me to tell you you’re attractive.”

            Mercutio let out a laugh, and I felt my smile fade with his. His laugh was a little too loud, a little too brief, and there was a disturbingly familiar note of high-strung sadness in it. We rode without saying anything for a while; Mercutio was the one to break the silence.

            “So, time doesn’t pass like it’s supposed to when you’re asleep, you know? But if everyone’s asleep except for you, you’re still the normal one.”

            I furrowed my eyebrows and looked quizzically at Mercutio, wondering if he was going somewhere with this, but all he said next was “Right, we’re here,” before parking in front of a building that was barely small enough to be classed even as a mansion. Mercutio jumped out of the car, and I followed suit, eyeing the building suspiciously.

            “Uh, Mercutio… is this- is this, like, a hotel, or-”

            Mercutio laughed, and it sounded a little more genuine this time. “Nope, all mine. Well, my uncle’s, technically. But I live here, so I’m pretty sure I can say that. Property is an illusion, etcetera, etcetera.”

            I snorted. “Oh, is that it?”

            Mercutio winked at me, walking up the stairs backwards so that he still faced me. “Naturally. I don’t mean in a political way; but everything in the world is an illusion, so this must be, too, don’t you think so? You, me, the house, the air, why not property?”

            Again, I wasn’t quite sure how to respond. Before I had a chance to, though, Mercutio twirled around, unlocked the front door to the massive house, and opened it with a dramatic gesture, beckoning me inside.

            “ _Mi casa es tu casa,_ Benvolio.”

            I stepped cautiously onto the polished wooden floor. “Jesus christ, Mercutio,” I muttered. “This is your uncle’s house? Who the hell is he, the queen of England?”

            Mercutio smirked. “Actually, you’re not too far off. Anyway, it doesn’t matter, we’re going to the kitchen because I’m pretty sure there’s food there.”

            I followed him to a spacious, well-lit kitchen at the back of the house, still somewhat dazed at the ridiculous scale of the place that Mercutio lived in. I sat down cautiously in a chair beside a sleek oaken table as Mercutio rummaged through the metallic refrigerator.

            “You want an apple?”

            “Uh- nah, I’m not hungry.”

            Mercutio shrugged in a ‘suit yourself’ kind of way and pulled out a sizeable yellow apple for himself before sitting heavily in the chair next to me.

            “So. Benvolio.” He fixed me with the full force of his gaze, completely serious for once, and I fought the sudden urge to blush like a lovesick teenager as I met his eyes.

            “What?”

            He lifted his eyebrows slightly. “Did you wanna talk about something?”

            I blinked in confusion, searching my mind for what he might be referring to. “No…?”

            To my surprise, Mercutio let out a short laugh, then ran a hand over his face, a strange sort of smile on his face. “All right. So what do you want to do? Video games? Idle conversation? Several hours of uncomfortable silence?”

            Feeling I had missed something but not knowing what, I tried for a cautious smile. “Uh, yeah- what games do you have?”

            “Really, you’re not going for the uncomfortable silence? You shock me, truly. Come on, I’ll show you.” He jumped up, crunching his apple, and led me deeper into the labyrinthine house to a cozy room with a couch, a large television, and an entire shelf full of games made for a variety of different platforms. Mercutio paused in the doorway, then walked the rest of the way in, gesturing at the shelf of games. “Take your pick.” He sat on the arm of the couch, and I felt his gaze on me as I went to look at the expansive collection. Without turning around, I asked carefully, “So, Mercutio, are… are you okay?”

            He didn’t respond for a minute, and I stood motionless in anticipatory silence, afraid for a moment that I had somehow offended him.

            Then Mercutio laughed again, though it was blatantly halfhearted this time. “Ah… right. No, yeah, I’m just…” he broke off, perhaps searching for the right words. When he spoke again, his voice was uncharacteristically soft. “…tired,” he finally said. I turned around to look at him and saw that his eyes were cast down, staring vaguely into the carpet. He bit his lip. “Sorry. Agh, sorry, I’m just-” he stopped again. “I’m so tired, Benny.” He exhaled gently. “I’m so tired, and everything is on fire.” He shook himself and looked up at me, an apologetic smile ready on his lips. “God, I’m sorry. I did say that you probably didn’t want to hang out with me today.” He ran a hand through his hair distractedly, avoiding my eyes. “Shit, why’d I tell you that?” he muttered. Then he seemed to collect himself. “Jesus. I’m fine, Benvolio, for real.”

            He held my gaze for a moment and smiled again, a little less bright and a little more genuine this time. I nodded, finally. “Okay.” I returned the expression. “Okay, if you say so.” _But you don’t have to be,_ I didn’t quite have the courage to say.

            “Right!” Mercutio jumped up suddenly and tossed his apple, barely eaten, into a trashcan by the door that I hadn’t noticed on the way in. “Let’s play some fuckin’ video games, yeah?”

            I couldn’t suppress a laugh at the sudden shift in the mood. “Yeah, okay.”

            He threw a backward glance at me and grinned. “Thank god, I thought you might’ve forgotten how to laugh.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> goD MERCUTIO YOU ARE WASTING FOOD _EAT THAT WHOLE APPLE I SWAER TO GOD_  
>  I'm. I know the ending there was probably kind of ungraceful? but I really couldn't figure out how to fix it and I figured I'm late enough already aahaha *sweats nervously* dear god I am sO LATE IM THE ACTUAL WORST THIS ISN'T EVEN AN UNUSUALLY LONG CHAPTER THE MORE I READ IT THE SHORTER IT SEEMS  
> on the up side, I did a writing program in Ireland so hopefully my writing will have improved somewhat idk you tell me (aka please pelase please give me feedback tell me if I'm bad or good or anywhere in between please dear god)  
> Righto so I'm not gonna make promises about when the next chapter will be out but if I am ever this late again (which hopefully I won't be in the first place) then please!! come yell at me!!! preferably on tumblr at a-splash-of-realitea.tumblr.com for real if a month (or less, if you prefer) goes by and I haven't updated then seriously come and yell at me I don't wanna leave it this long again  
> (By the way- apologies if this author's note is really strange? it's one in the morning as I'm writing this aaahahaahah *coughs violently* anyway I hope you have a lovely day thanks for reading!!!)


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